Live with intention - Play with abandon
The past few months have been life-changing for me. Not really in any way that is overtly noticeable but with the entry of both of my babies into adulthood my reality was different. I decided to embrace this new reality and make it positive.
I am, by nature, a Virgo and all that implies. I am typically harder on myself than anyone else ever could be and my 'failures' in life - particularly where relationships are concerned, see me overly analytical about everything and full of self doubt and questioning.
Late last year, I decided that this was going to be a part of my character that I would work hard to overcome. It is not particularly productive and consumes a large amount of energy that could be better spent enjoying life. Of course, I have responsibilites - big ones - both professionally and personally. I have been called a contol freak now and then (most poignantly by Marc) and I have to admit that it was an accurate description of me.
So, I've been working on it and am feeling much more liberated in my approach to many aspects of my life.
To my delight someone has entered my life at exactly the right moment to allow me to put into practice some of my new-found freedom of expression. Refusing to be bound by societal expectations and rules, I have allowed my heart free reign and have a wonderful relationship with an equally wonderful man in a relatively short space of time (yes, that would be Alex :)).
Was it easy letting go of all the restraints I would normally apply - just in case? No way! It was torture. BUT, when I did the rush was amazing! AND what I have now is incredible.
Now, here's the thing. Most of my friends are delighted that I am so happy. Some of them have expressed concern that I might get hurt but accept that I am in love and happy to indulge my new "extraordinary moments" philosophy over the old "be safe and wait and see" one. Unfortunately, a couple of them are incredibly negative and can only denigrate how I feel and the way in which I met Alex (internet).
Well, guess what I'm saying? Get over it. I think it's sad that some people have no capacity for joy. Give it a go. Abandon the 'rules' for love and imagine the possibilities. I jumped in and have said and done things I NEVER would have previously. I may have thought about it and wanted to but convention restrained me. I do not feel inferior in any way for recognising that I madly love this man so early in our relationship. I don't give a fat rat's that others feel it is too soon.
Bottom line is that I'd rather live absolute bliss for a short time than safe mediocrity for a bit longer. Reality is that if it ends, it will be painful. I'm a big girl, I've managed to lose a home, raise two children, live all over Victoria without a support network so that I could afford to keep my family together and finally buy my own home again. I told Alex that I couldn't say I'd had my heart broken before and I think that's true but I have had my spirit destroyed and managed to survive. If this relationship doesn't work out it is my pain.
So, be happy that I'm happy.
I am, by nature, a Virgo and all that implies. I am typically harder on myself than anyone else ever could be and my 'failures' in life - particularly where relationships are concerned, see me overly analytical about everything and full of self doubt and questioning.
Late last year, I decided that this was going to be a part of my character that I would work hard to overcome. It is not particularly productive and consumes a large amount of energy that could be better spent enjoying life. Of course, I have responsibilites - big ones - both professionally and personally. I have been called a contol freak now and then (most poignantly by Marc) and I have to admit that it was an accurate description of me.
So, I've been working on it and am feeling much more liberated in my approach to many aspects of my life.
To my delight someone has entered my life at exactly the right moment to allow me to put into practice some of my new-found freedom of expression. Refusing to be bound by societal expectations and rules, I have allowed my heart free reign and have a wonderful relationship with an equally wonderful man in a relatively short space of time (yes, that would be Alex :)).
Was it easy letting go of all the restraints I would normally apply - just in case? No way! It was torture. BUT, when I did the rush was amazing! AND what I have now is incredible.
Now, here's the thing. Most of my friends are delighted that I am so happy. Some of them have expressed concern that I might get hurt but accept that I am in love and happy to indulge my new "extraordinary moments" philosophy over the old "be safe and wait and see" one. Unfortunately, a couple of them are incredibly negative and can only denigrate how I feel and the way in which I met Alex (internet).
Well, guess what I'm saying? Get over it. I think it's sad that some people have no capacity for joy. Give it a go. Abandon the 'rules' for love and imagine the possibilities. I jumped in and have said and done things I NEVER would have previously. I may have thought about it and wanted to but convention restrained me. I do not feel inferior in any way for recognising that I madly love this man so early in our relationship. I don't give a fat rat's that others feel it is too soon.
Bottom line is that I'd rather live absolute bliss for a short time than safe mediocrity for a bit longer. Reality is that if it ends, it will be painful. I'm a big girl, I've managed to lose a home, raise two children, live all over Victoria without a support network so that I could afford to keep my family together and finally buy my own home again. I told Alex that I couldn't say I'd had my heart broken before and I think that's true but I have had my spirit destroyed and managed to survive. If this relationship doesn't work out it is my pain.
So, be happy that I'm happy.
posted by Pam at 12:17 AM
3 Comments:
You go girl. It is fantastic to see you so happy, and don't let the negative nellies bring you down
Spread your wings and fly. Enjoy each and every moment.
I am so happy for you Pam. It's great to see you so gooey and glowing!!!!!!
Pam, I have said it to you and am saying it again, this has come at the right time for you. You have devoted your life to your children firstly and then your career, secondly (and part of that was to raise your children). You have done a incredibly successful job of both and that your children are adults, it is time for you to enjoy your life and Alex has walked in at the most opportune time. Relax, enjoy and you have coped with so much in your life already, anything that does happen from here, you will cope with again.
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