My Baby Boy

The thing about having only 2 children and a pigeon pair is that I always have my baby boy and my baby girl.

Despite turning 20 soon -on Anzac Day, Marc will always be my baby boy and I don't think I'll ever lose that motherly instinct, love and pride that you can only have for you own children and their achievements no matter how small or insignificant to others.

Marc was always above average as he was growing up but not really in the ways we stereotypically measure. Despite a huge IQ near 150, he did not achieve well at school. He was a terrible student because he was lazy and everything was so easy for him and, to my utter despair, left school barely out of Year 10. Intelligence and commonsense were definitely not co-habitating in his head. Since leaving school he has been unemployed more often than not. When he got a good job last year, I was so pleased for him and finally thought he had found some direction. When he lost his job just before Christmas, my heart sank.

We've been talking recently about what he wants for his future. Not in a "I am your mother and I know what's best way" (although, of course I do know best) but concentrating on what he wants to achieve and how he thinks he can do it. This morning he sms'd me a few times. Obviously excited that he had found a new job. I'm pretty proud of him right at this moment but not for the reasons you might think.

When our children are young, we dream a future for them and mine included education and excellence. Marc didn't share my dream as it turned out and this caused no end of stress in our household I can tell you.

I've revised my dreams for Marc. They are far less involved and complicated.

I adore my baby boy and want him to lead a productive and happy life. Success will be measured by his own dreams.

I'm proud of him because of the person he is. He is, and always has been, a nice person. I remember when the other boys were being cool and aloof but Marc would run up to me after school and hug and kiss me, even in his adolescent years he would unashamedly give his nana a big hug and kiss.

Even though his eagerness to help people who are less fortunate than he is (particularly in the family support sense) have seen him with a crowd that I am less than pleased about, I understand why and I love him all the more for it.

I'm happy that he still shares his achievements, large and small, with me because he knows his mum will be as excited for him as he is for himself.

He's still my baby boy.